Ellie's Secret
by RiverSongobsessed
Summary: WARNING Rape in Chapter Two don't read if you don't like. After being away for two years Ellie and the girls return to Hope Springs but on the night of their return something happens to Ellie. Threatened and scared will she hide it from her friends or turn to them for help? ((AU when Roy lives))
1. Coming Home

Ellie's Secret With a weary sigh Ellie sat down. She could hear Sadie and Anne Marie reuniting as well as Shoo kissing, well snogging, Dean. The two were already making plans to move back in together. Even Josie was talking to Ronan. Ellie could see that the two liked each other. It was almost as if the five of them had never left. She swallowed thickly staring to the fire. It had been Hannah who convinced them to return (the woman in question was already back in the kitchen with Ina as they talked about what had happened). Ellie's husband hadn't bothered coming after them but unfortunately he had disappeared into thin air putting Ellie on couldn't say no to them though especially not when she saw how lost Sadie was without Anne Marie. As she heard them all talking however she couldn't help but think it would have been better if she had just stayed in Barbados. She didn't hear Gill enter. Too lost in her own thoughts until he was sitting next to her. She jumped slightly but managed a small smile when she saw it was him. He gave her a nervous chuckle. "I thought you would've been here with Anne Marie. She's given us our jobs back by the way." Ellie said after a moment chuckling when Gill passed her a champagne glass. "Trying to get me drunk already?" She teased but took a drink. Gill shook his head slightly. "He isn't mine, the baby I mean, he's Euan's I, I couldn't stay with her." He said quietly and Ellie closed her eyes inwardly scolding herself before she turned to him. "Gill I am so sorry I genuinely had no idea I didn't mean to sound spiteful." She said quickly but Gill only laughed placing a reassuring hand on her arm. "It's fine Ells calm down. You were gone two years I didn't expect you to know." He said gently making sure she understood. Ellie frowned worriedly but nodded. "So, you meet any nice men in Barbados?" He smirked and Ellie giggled lightly. "Oh god no most of them were a shade away from being orange and half my age." She said trying to hide a small blush which crept onto her cheeks. She frowned slightly when he began to laugh and she pushed him away playfully. "Oh shut up."  
"Hey I didn't say a thing." Gill said raising his arms in defence but he was still chuckling. "You're laughing Gill that's mean." She pouted and he rolled his eyes. "Sorry but I find the fact that you think your age would matter to boys like that. When if they were sane they'd think you gorgeous." It was his turn to blush this time when he realised what he'd said. Ellie smiled shocked before looking back to the fire. "Of course they would have to be insane." She smirked swallowing thickly when she heard Gill get up. "I em, I should go its getting late." He stuttered clearly embarrassed. Ellie looked up. "What? Why? You only just got here." She said standing up as he walked to the door. "I know but I em, I gotta go to work in the morning. I'll see you soon." He managed to say and waved to everyone else before rushing out leaving a bewildered Ellie and everyone else even more confused than her. Staying where she was Ellie visibly sagged before turning to everyone else as Hannah and Ina stood by the bar having entered when they heard Gill was leaving. Frowning Hannah walked over. "Ells what did you do?" She asked but Ellie shrugged. Smiling sadly Hannah put an arm around her. "I don't know Hans, we were talking and then he just, he just left." She said quietly tears pricking her eyes as she looked to the floor. Concerned Josie spoke up. "Right I think that's enough for tonight. Plus I'm exhausted aren't you Ells?" She said in hope of getting some conversation flowing again. Ellie blinked simply before grabbing her coat. "I'll be back! Don't wait up!" She said going out into the rain. Sadie looked around at everyone as she held her grandson on her knee. "Well then I think it'd be best if we do as she says and head to bed alright?" She said simply everyone nodded heading off to their own rooms/trailer. Meanwhile outside Ellie was running down the pavement in the rain calling out for Gill whom she could see at the bottom of the hill. Before she could catch up to him she felt a strong hand around her waist and she was dragged back into an alleyway. A hand repositioned over her mouth. "Don't move a muscle and i swear if you scream I'll slit your throat." She couldn't see very well in the dark but as she heard the mans voice her blood ran cold. "Roy." She breathed out now terrified. He smirked. "Hello Ells."  



	2. Apologies

Chapter Two Ellie swallowed thickly, the lump in her throat making it hard to do. Roy spotted it and gave her a sadistic grin. Before dragging her further into the alleyway, her ankle caught up a cobble stone causing her to yelp slightly but he clamped his hand down to muffle the sound. "Shh Ells, I'd hate for someone to hear us," he whispered gently into her ear a contradiction to his tight grip as he pressed her against the cold wall causing the stones to pierce the skin on her back she bit back a whimper. He lifted his hand from her mouth allowing her to breath and speak. "Roy wh, what are you doing here." She asked trembling as Roy moved the hand to cup her cheek.  
"Now Ells there's no need to act so jumpy around me. I'm your husband after all." He smiled moving to kiss her neck causing an involuntary shiver to go down her spine as she kept her eyes locked on him. "You've been a very bad girl haven't you Ellie." He said moving away after leaving a mark on her neck. She shook her head. "No." He raised his eyebrows and pressed harder against her. "Wrong answer, you killed my friend Ells, you killed Marius. And that is a bad place to stand." He practically growled in her ear causing her to let out a gasp. "He was going to kill me Roy, surely you understand?" She said placing a hand on his chest gently but he punched her across the face causing her to stumble to the ground. Her face felt as if it was on fire which was understandable, she could tell nothing was broken in her dizzy haze she didn't see Roy move behind her until he held her hair in his fist and yanked it back causing her to shout out earning another slap. "Listen here. I want an apology or I can hurt you in ways you can't imagine." Her breath hitched slightly but she shook her head and looked to him managing to spit, shocked her pushed her away. "I have nothing to apologise for." She hissed going to run away but he pulled her back by the waist eliciting a yelp making him smirk as he held her tight letting her feel his hardness against her which caused her to squirm in an attempt to get away. "Oh I do love your little yelps Ellie." He smiled almost fondly before slamming her against the wall evoking another yelp which made him grin. Ellie gasped momentarily breathless she looked down as she heard the ripping of material and her eyes widened fearfully as she saw him pulling down her skirt. She tried to struggle but he was strong and kept a tight hold of her. Her breath caught in her throat when he pushed inside of her making tears prick her eyes. He chuckled smugly as he rocked into her. "I always knew it wouldn't be violence for you Ells, humiliation, sex maybe? Yes. Despite your brave front you hate this more than anything don't you?" He asked and Ellie closed her eyes tightly. "Don't you?!" He shouted forgetting where they were. She nodded frantically and he tilted her head up capturing her in a rough kiss. His second hand held her hip so tightly it caused the skin to split and a slow trickle of blood began to fall. "Just, say, sorry." He said in between kisses and bites he placed at her neck but she shook her head once more. He bit hard causing her to gasp as he increased his speed causing silent tears to roll down her face. "Open your eyes." He ordered his voice harsh with lust and Ellie could recognise the signs that he was close. She opened her eyes trying to hide her fear. "Now say sorry." He said looking down as the hand which hand being holding onto Ellie's face dropped and went into his pocket. Ellie saw a flash of silver her eyes drawn towards his gaze and her breath hitched when she saw a knife placed above her waist close to her ribs. "Say it." He repeated his hand shaking from effort to continue pounding into her. Swallowing thickly Ellie nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Roy." She said letting out a squeal when he pressed the knife into her skin. "Ellie Lagden needs to say. Sorry again." He muttered threateningly. "I'm sorry!" She shouted her voice full of panic and fear which sent him over the edge. He dropped the knife rocking against her until he was done. He drew out of her the small motion making her body ache and she stumbled weakly. He spat at her kicking her ribs sharply before simply walking away and into a waiting car. Ellie sighed shakily and managed to get her phone out but she soon fell into unconsciousness before she could contact anyone. 


	3. Lost & Found

It wasn't until everyone else woke up the next morning to find Ellie still not back that they started to worry. In an attempt to keep people calm Sadie suggested that Ellie was probably at Gill's. Hannah was uneasy at the thought as it was very unlike Ellie to not tell anyone where she was and so she slipped out of the reception and to the kitchen where she immediately called Gill. After a few worrying moments he answered.

"Hello?" He asked sounding tired and a little grumpy, his tone made it evident to Hannah that Ellie was not with him. She bit her lip as she talked.

"Hi Gills it's Hans, Ells wouldn't happen to be with you would she?" Her voice on the verge of panic. There was a scuffling down the line as her words caused Gill to sit up instantly concerned.

"Ellie? No why would she be with me?" He continued to move obviously getting dressed as he listened.

"Cause after you left she came after you."

"She did?"

"Yes almost immediately. She was worried she had upset you, did you not see her?" Gill cursed slightly.

"No I didn't, I thought I heard her but I turned around and no one was there." Hannah sighed shakily. Somewhere in between the bottom of the hill and the B&B Ellie had disappeared. Concern fluttered in her chest but she was brought out of her thoughts by Gill. "She's not with you I take it?"

"Of course she isn't why would I be calling if she was here?!" She snapped slightly.

"Hey calm down its fine, I'll come over and help look for her, you send everyone out okay just stay calm." He soothed and Hannah swallowed thickly.

"Alright I'm sorry." She said, they talked for a few moments more before hanging up. Immediately Hannah walked back to reception. "Ellie isn't with Gill." She announced causing everyone to look up stunned. "She never caught up with him, he never saw her after he left." She explained the worry clear on her face. Shoo stood up taking Dean's hand.

"Me and Dean will check around the hotel." She said as Dean grabbed their coats. She smiled nervously kissing his cheek lightly. "Come on babe," The two left without another word swiftly followed by Ronan and Josie who agreed to check the moors nearby. Ina thought of checking her shop's CCTV cameras to see if anything had picked up. Although older than the rest of them Sadie was determined to help but Anne Marie was not as willing and it was only when Sadie reminded her of the help Ellie had given her that she showed any willingness towards helping her. She and Sadie then went to check in the alleyways and side streets. Hannah had agreed to meet Gill to ask people if Ellie had been seen since last night.

A few minutes later Sadie was shouting at the top of her lungs as Anne Marie and herself walked down the street. Anne Marie trailed behind calling out half heartedly. Suddenly Sadie turned around clearly annoyed.

"Anne Marie Cairnross will you stop being so childish and help!" She said glaring when Anne Marie rolled her eyes. "Now, we are going to shout until we find her is that clear?"

"Mam?" She interrupted suddenly as she saw something over her mother's shoulder.

"Don't you dare interrupt when I am talking,"

"But Mum-" She said trying to point but Sadie brushed her hand away.

"No buts!" Anne Marie huffed and rushed past Sadie and towards the alleyway close to the bottom of the hill she stopped when she saw Ellie lying bloody and bruised on the ground.

"Mum it's Ellie call an ambulance!" She called causing her mother's eyes to widen and rush over gasping as she saw Ellie. Her hands were already fumbling for her mobile. She kept an eye on the two younger women as she talked to the services. Gently Anne Marie moved Ellie onto her side before shaking her shoulders harshly. "Ellie! Are you alright?! Can you hear me?!" She shouted. Ellie's eyes fluttered open weakly and she frowned.

"A, Anne Mar.?" She sighed shakily moving her head to the is as she coughed trying to clear her throat.

"It's okay Ells we've got you." She muttered rubbing her back causing Ellie to smirk teasingly despite her condition.

"I didn't think you'd care."

"I em, I don't. Mum dragged me along." Anne Marie said not looking Ellie in the eye but she could still see the woman arch her eyebrows disbelievingly. "Okay alright maybe I care, a little... Motherhood has softened me." She said smiling slightly. Ellie swallowed thickly.

"I'm sorry about, about Gill." She whispered.

"That's not your fault." She reprimanded as soon as Ellie had apologised.

"If I don't say anything he wouldn't have, wouldn't have known about Euan." Ellie continued causing another coughing fit.

"Yes well, it's alright.. You were looking out for him it's fine. I forgive you." She said speaking in hushed tones. Ellie sighed closing her eyes.

"Thank you." She muttered falling unconscious again.


	4. Waking Up

As Ellie's eyes fluttered open the six people all lent forward causing panic to flutter in Ellie's chest until she recognised the faces. Josie, Hannah, Shoo, Sadie, Ann Marie and thankfully. Gil. She swallowed thickly and tried to sit up, Hannah immediately got up to help her noticing the sharp wince which Ellie let go as a sharp pain hit her chest.

"Careful Ells." She whispered gently helping her to sit up.

"Why does it hurt so much?" She asked quietly her voice hoarse. Her skin was pale and she closed her eyes for a moment as she remembered what had happened to her. "How bad is it?" They people looked around guiltily until Ann Marie sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You have a fractured nose, a broken rib and some nasty bruising." She said earning a glare from Sadie and so she then added. "You'll be fine though." Ellie scoffed and Ann Marie's features softened guiltily.

"How are you feeling?" Gil asked and Ellie smiled sadly as she looked to him.

"In all truth I've been better." She joked coughing slightly. Gil smirked bringing her a glass of water and a straw. With him helping her Ellie drank sighing with relief as it soothed her dry throat.

"Ells?" Shoo said worriedly from the side and Ellie turned fondly to look to the two younger girls who looked visibly fearful and concerned. She nodded motioning for them to talk as Gil moved her back to sit comfortably. "Hans, we em, she told us you were, well you know..." She said gesturing downwards causing Ellie to blush lightly as she bit her lip. "We wanted to make sure you knew you could talk to us if em, if you want to." She said awkwardly and Ellie smiled tears pricking her eyes.

"Thank you Shoo, I'm fine but I'll remember that alright?" She said in an effort to put the girl's minds at rest. Josie let herself sigh with relief before standing and walking to hug Ellie carefully.

"Me, Shoo and Ann Marie have to get back to Hope Springs now but we'll come back tomorrow alright?" Ellie nodded at her words and the others waved goodbye before leaving. She smiled nervously jumping slightly when Gil took her hand. Both Sadie and Hannah pretended not to notice.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there Ells." He said quietly. She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head.

"It wasn't your fault Gil, do not blame yourself." She said quietly her eyes still shut. Gil swallowed thickly.

"But Ellie if I hadn't left, or if I had turned around when you called then you wouldn't have been..." His voice trailed away anxiously and Ellie sighed shakily.

"Raped Gil, alright I was raped. Not saying the word isn't going to mean it didn't happen." She said opening her eyes. Gil smiled sadly as Sadie and Hannah watched them.

"My dear I know you might not want to answer this but em, did you see who it was?" Sadie asked gently and it was clear that that was the question on all of their minds. Despite herself a small blush crept up onto Ellie's cheeks and she shook her head. She couldn't tell them it was Roy, he was still out there. He might hurt her again or worse, them. She could hear Gil sigh slightly.

"Was his face covered or did you just not recognise him Ells, it'd be better if you tell us. That way Gil can find him you understand." Hannah said taking her other hand with a reassuring smile. Ellie smirked sadly.

"His face was covered, he knew my name. My real name. Ellie Lagden." She swallowed thickly resisting the urge to say I'm sorry. "But I didn't see his face nor recognise his voice."

"We'll find him Ells, I've got my best men on the job alright, I promise." Gil said and she managed a small smile and nodded.

"Thank you." She said her voice just above a whisper as she struggled to swallow past the lump in her throat.

* * *

A few weeks later with the help of the girls and Gil Ellie was well enough to return to the B&B, Ann Marie was kind enough to let her keep her job but also stay off for as long as she needed. Ellie wasn't too happy about being treated like a china doll all the time however and merely a week after that she was back to waitressing despite Hannah's worries. She was the closest to Ellie compared to the other people and she could see the change in the usually happy and cheeky woman. Although the changes were small they were still there. The way her eyes would dart towards the door whenever someone entered or the small jump that she did when the phone rang. Ellie was strong however and Hannah knew that she was unlikely to ask for help.


	5. Revelations

Ellie bit her lip anxiously as she sat on the edge of the bathtub waiting. It had been almost two months since Roy had came back and although she had tried, she could no longer ignore the signs that something was up. And so she had gone into town on her own yesterday and bought the pregnancy test which was currently taunting her by the side of the sink. She jumped when the timer suddenly went off and blushed despite the fact no one was there. She grabbed the timer turning it off before standing and taking a deep breath as she picked up the test.

Pregnant. :)

Ellie threw the test against the wall as she started to cry allowing herself to sink down the wall so she was resting against the door with her head in her knees. She was almost two months pregnant. What was happy about that? There was no need to put a happy smile on it, it wasn't a happy occasion. She sniffed slightly and wiped her eyes five minutes later once she had time to calm down.

The strange thing was, a tiny part of Ellie was happy, excited even. Because despite her past she had always secretly, wanted to be a mother. Something only Hannah knew. And know she had her chance, but the child was a byproduct of rape. Of Roy. Her husband. Silently she reasoned with herself that technically no one would know it was his, they'd all know it was her attacker's but Ellie had told them she didn't know who it was. Something which she was a little thankful for now.

And so Ellie decided she'd keep it and raise the child in Hope Springs where she hoped she was safe. The second worry was telling people, she knew a miscarriage was a major possibility up until the third month but she couldn't go a month on her own. She was terrified about it, she needed someone by her side and she needed a doctor to actually confirm the test.

As if by magic there was a tentative knock at the door behind her.

"Ells? You alright you've been in there for a while." Hannah said gently and a small smile formed on Ellie's face. Hannah. He friend who had been by her side throughout prison, finding out about Roy, running to Hope Springs, Barbados and then her attack. Hannah had been there and knew more about Ellie then even Ellie would like she stood up and grabbed the test as she held onto the bath for support before opening the door. She managed a small smile but Hannah immediately frowned.

"You've been crying. Ellie what's wrong?" She asked gently leading Ellie inside her bedroom which was the closest to the bathroom. Ellie sniffed slightly with a weak chuckle as they sat on the bed. Hannah's arm around Ellie in a comfortable manner as she waited for Ellie to explain.

"I'm pregnant Hans, it's the attacker's" she said shakily before starting to cry onto Hannah's shoulder who had gone still for a minute before holding Ellie close in an attempt to comfort her.

"It'll be fine you'll be fine. Are you going to keep it?" She asked gently knowing what Ellie would be thinking.

"I, I want to keep it. Is that bad? Would people think that was bad?" Ellie asked quietly slightly afraid of the answer but Hannah shook her head making Ellie look up to her.

"No Ells not at all, it's a little strange considering. Well considering how the baby was conceived but it's not bad, it's your body you can do whatever you like and I'll be here whenever you need me okay?" She said rubbing Ellie's back as the woman in question let out a relieved laugh before pulling back from the embrace.

"Oh what would I do without you Hans?" She smirked and Hannah laughed.

"God only knows," she teased hugging her tightly before they were brought out of their bubble by a shout from downstairs.

"Hannah! Ellie we have guests you know!" The sharp voice called out making them giggle slightly as the two of them stood up.

"I'll call a doctor and we'll get you an appointment for tomorrow okay?" Hannah said gently causing Ellie to smile and nod.

"Thank you now off we go, Anne Marie calls." Ellie winked feeling more at ease know that she had Hannah. She said stopping as they left. "Em Hans? Can we not tell the other girls. Yet?" She asked placing the test in the bin at Hannah's door. Hannah looked back with a sympathetic smile and nodded.

"Of course. I won't tell anyone until you want to." She said before they walked downstairs.


	6. Sadie

Ellie didn't regret her decision not to tell anyone until a month later when she spotted some blood in the lining of her pants and she quickly made her way downstairs only to find that Hannah was away seeing Ina leaving only Sadie and Anne Marie in the hotel. The mere idea if going to Anne Marie for help was awful and so Ellie found herself taking Sadie aside and quickly asking her to take her to the doctors. Sadie frowned worriedly at the question.

"Why? Ellie is everything alright?" She asked worriedly but Ellie just nodded quickly.

"I'm bleeding I just need to see a doctor." She answered but it caused Sadie's frown to deepen as she looked Ellie over before nodding slightly in realisation.

"Oh... Isn't that normal?" She asked but Ellie shook her head.

"No, not when you're pregnant." Sadie's eyes widened and she quickly ushered Ellie towards the door.

"Come on I'll take you in the van." She said softly.

* * *

Once they were in the van Ellie was quiet keeping one hand around her abdomen as she stared out of the window but she was aware of Sadie's gaze now and then. Eventually she sighed and turned to the dashboard.

"I didn't tell you because I was afraid this would happen, and because I didn't want sympathy about the method of conceiving." She explained and Sadie gave her a small smile.

"My dear we wouldn't have felt sympathy if having the baby made you happy, that's all any of us really want." Ellie sighed shakily.

"We'll it might be too late now," Sadie shook her head as they reached the doctors and she went to park.

"You don't know that, it could be alright now come on we're here,"

* * *

A few minutes later a doctor had came to see Ellie and soon had her lying down on a bed with Sadie sitting beside her. He moved an ultrasound over to her giving a reassuring smile as he did. Ellie didn't look at him instead keeping her eyes to Sadie who took her hand giving it a small squeeze.

"Right then Miss Williams let's have a look shall we? I do warn you this will be cold." The man smiled as he left Ellie's top and put the jelly on it causing her to shiver. She turned her head as the doctor started the scan and she looked to the screen in fear. "Here we go," He said moving over the baby and Ellie swallowed thickly.

"Is the baby alright?" She asked, her voice breaking slightly and he chuckled and nodded.

"Yes don't worry it'll have only been some spotting." He reassured. "If we do this, you can hear the heartbeat." He said moving about a but when a heartbeat filled the room and a gasp left Ellie as she turned Sadie who was smiling as well. "And here's the second.."

Ellie's eyes widened and she snapped he head back around.

"What?!" She said stunned and the man chuckled moving the scanner.

"Congratulations Miss Williams you are going to be the mother of twins."

"Twins." She repeated and he nodded gently.

"I'll print you off a scan and then you can leave." Ellie nodded stunned and he left the room leaving Ellie to clean herself up turning to Sadie who was trying not to laugh.

"Twins." Ellie said again her eyes full of worry and Sadie quickly made her way to hug her.

"Oh don't worry Ellie I promise you'll be fine." She said gently and Ellie smiled as they drew back and she gave a small nod.

"Thank you Sadie, can we go now?" Sadie nodded before standing up waiting for Ellie before they returned to Hope Springs.


End file.
